30 going on 31

The message bible describes a proverbs 31 woman like this:

“A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden. First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!” Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of- GOD. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!” Proverbs 31:10-31 MSG

Wow. Big shoes to fill right?

I was far from this virtuous woman described in the bible, growing up I was a spoiled brat which turned me into a young adult with an attitude, who was stubborn and had a hard heart.

I think most women in today's society can relate to having a "hard heart" meaning they don't love easily and aren't easy to love. I feel like so many women have been hurt and broken down that they build themselves back up with the attitude "I don't need anyone". They become independent but in a stubborn way. They build up these walls that are almost impossible to break down. And when these women get together with other women who are the same, they empower each other to stay strong in their stubbornness. I was one of these women.

As women, we weren't designed to be hard, stubborn, have attitudes, and be independent. No, we are to be gentle, loving and generous. Somewhere in time, we lost that. And until you allow God access to your heart, you will never become that kind of woman.

God softened my heart by blessing me with my son. Now, I was living life MY way when I got pregnant without being married, but God makes all things work together for our good. God knew that my son would change my heart. For the first time in my life, I felt a love I never felt before, a unconditional, selfless, can't contain it, there's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for you kind of love. And I thought to myself, if this is how much I love my son, I can't even imagine how much God loves me. 

Maybe you don't have a child yet to experience what I'm talking about, but when God wants to do a new thing in your life he will always bring a new relationship. So maybe he brings a friendship to you of a woman of God. This also happened to me and actually is what really changed me as a woman.

When I finally decided to join a life group at church, I was surrounded by beautiful, strong, anointed, genuine, loving and encouraging women. I admired these women so much. How they loved and gave so much of themselves so generously. And just as the bible says "iron sharpens iron", the more I hung out with these women, the more I developed those same characteristics in myself. I am forever grateful for these friendships.

But don't think for one second that once you start changing into the woman God designed you to be that life gets easier. Oh no honey, that's when the enemy really wants you. But you have to fight for the woman you have become. You may go through a tough season. You may have things taken from your life that you didn't think you could live without. You may have many nights crying yourself to sleep. But I'm here to tell you, stay strong in faith, God will use this season of hardship to strengthen you and to unveil is his ultimate purpose for your life. Just don't give up and know that your God is bigger than anything you may be facing, and he's already won the victory! Take hold of that and know that you are more than a conqueror and God will never allow anything to be taken from your life and fail to give you something better! I like how the message bible says it in Deuteronomy 30:3:

"God, your God, will restore everything you lost; he'll have compassion on you; he'll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where you were scattered." 

Sometimes you have to be broken down to nothing and let God build you back up on the right foundation and with the right faith and character, so he can truly bless your life. Don't spend anymore time blocking your blessing with stubbornness. Allow God to change your heart and take hold of your life and watch him move mountains. Trust me when I say It is the most humbling experience and changes you day by day into the woman he designed you to be.